Saturday, October 07, 2006
I guess the harder in human relationship is communication? I always found myself have communication breakdown especially with my spouse. It's so painful that these communication breakdown always cause arguement and conflict at the end of the day. "You sounds like ....", "Why are you sound so angry?", "No i didn't mean that", "I told u before....No I never heard that"...all these are the common sentences heard when conflict happen in communication. I start to wonder is it me having communication problem or what? That times I was so tired of the similar conflict or arguement keep happening. Until when we will be able to learn how to communicate in a way that we can understand each other?
In the midst of all the questions and frustration, a little voice inside me speaks, "have you put yourself into another person's shoes and think before you jump in to blame the person?" I know it's God my Father in heaven that speaks. "But God, why can't they put themselves into my shoes instead to understand me? Why have to be me doing all these first?" Well, I start the debate again...this time with my Creator. Why? God makes everyone different and unique. We do not have another person's brain and can't control other's thought and vice versa. So I shouldn't expect another person to read my mind if I can't even read his/hers. And why have to be me first? It's so hard or rather impossible to change another person. It's easier to change myself first? I guess by complaining I should have just calm down first, think over it whether this matter is worth quarelling about, whether I have misunderstood him? But gosh, its so hard to put in practice when conflict happen. Oh God, really need your strength and self control to stop the anger from blowing.
I heard God speaking everytime I let my flesh take control and let anger just blow, but it's my rebellian nature that trying to ignore the "little voice" that speaks behind. STUBBORN.....yes, that's the stubborness instead me that cause all the problem. All in all, it's all because of me?!
Communication is really an art, you need to learn from mistake, grow from mistake and learn to disagree maturely. DISAGREE MATURELY?! That's true, recall back, every time there's disagreement, we will tends to behave so childishly just to make sure we win! After all, it is important who will win in the disagreement but at the end both lose? Can I say disagreement and conflict is a process of knowing each other better? When disagreement getting lesser and lesser, there's where theu understand getting better and better and where we grow more maturely towards arguement and conflict.
Perhaps, I shouldn't be so "grey" about conflict and disagreement in communication but rather learn to see it positively and learn to handle it maturely.
