The Father's Hand

I have been thinking of sponsoring a child for a while but never really bother to take action. Today in the church the sermon was focusing on mission to the unreached, it reminds me about the sponsor child thingy. After the service, I mentioned it to Selwyn and we decided to find a day and look at any organisation that we can go through to do the sponsor. Who knows in the afternoon while we were shopping in Eastland, we saw a World Vision counter! The pictures of the children that need sponsor are all display on the counter. It melted our heart to see these little ones that do not have enough to eat and no clean water to drink. Our $2 per day can help them to survive for a year!!! We look through all the kids and it is so hard for us to make a decision which one to take...seriously they are all so adorable and all needs help. Finally we managed to choose a 4 year old boy from Mongolia, his name is Nyambayar. He has lost his dad and they can't tray out his mum's detail. Isn't it sad? Such a cute and adorable, innocent child has to go through such a tough life. It also reflects to me how fortunate we are, not only have enough to eat but also enough to buy what our heart desire!

It is another sad week we have to go through, I fail to fall pregnant again this cycle. Doctor told me I should consider IVF since I haven't been managed to fall pregnant from the few cycles via medication. However, we are not too comfortable with IVF.

Now it is the time to make the decision, whether we should go ahead with doctor's advice or give up treatment totally (I thought we wouldn't need to go throuh this). Only God knows what is the best. We are praying and asking Him for the wisdom to make the correct decision.

I came across an article few days ago, it starts with Romans 4:19 "Being not weak in faith, Abraham considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb". In the natural mind, we know it is impossible for Abraham and Sarah to have a child. However, bible told us that Abraham didn't look at the impossible and wavy in His faith but continue to trust in the Lord's promise. Sarah however, took the matter into her hand by given her servant girl to Abraham so that she can gives them a child. She was acting on behalf for God. While going through this article and story of Abraham and Sarah, I started to ask myself whether I am Abraham or Sarah now, whether I am putting part of my faith on the treatment than 100% to the Lord. Now I am put into the situation whether I should give up the "tool" available and trust in the Lord bare handed.

The article continue to say that "the faith that pleases God is born in a place of deadness - deadness of all human possibilities". Thinking about it, it is so true. When we have other human way to get the results, we will rely on it rather than God because it is more visible than God's hands. But is it a real faith that God require?

This sentence in the article strike me "When you feel that the heavens are like brass when you pray, your requests falling to the ground, God's Spirit is actually working to get you to stop considering the impossibilities - to stop looking to human ways and means - to stop trying to think your way out of your situation." God, are you trying to tell me something? I need more confirmation, more words from You.

I wonder what tomorrow will be but I can just say that "being unto me according to Your words" because I know my life is ordained by God who loves me and know the best for me! Even I remain childless, I still have a loving husband and a loving Father in heaven!